Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Lowered expectations mean less disappointment

What sort of expectations do you set for yourself? What expectations do you set upon your children? Your husband? Your friends?

I've been thinking lately that the less expectations I have on myself and on others, the less disappointment I will come across. This isn't a cop out, I promise, hear me out!

All around me I see people assessing and reassessing their relationship with social media and technology. I feel like I do this a lot myself too. I have such a love/hate relationship with my iPhone and with the apps on there that consume the most of my time.

I spent almost a year without a smart phone, I'd hardly call what I had a phone at all! But it was in my bag in case of emergency and every few days I'd check the text messages and delete the 20 messages in the inbox to ensure I'd receive new ones should they come through! It was primitive, yes. But it allowed me to stay away from the temptations that come with the so called smart phones.

I have to say I do love my iPhone. I love to have a fairly good camera in my bag or pocket at all times! We're in the age of taking countless photographs and I am not immune to this! It brings me great joy to look back on the abundance of photos in the past few years. I look forward to many more storage devices filled with photographs.

I also love the ease of messaging and communicating with friends via the phone itself. My previous phone made me a very poor responder to texts and was just generally annoying!

That's probably however where my needs for the iPhone stop and it just becomes a palm sized obsession with lots of apps to steal away my time!

And my time is precious you know! :) My time on days without technology is much better spent no matter what my good intentions may be. I'm just checking internet banking, just looking at two emails, I'll check that facebook event for the details then jump off the computer. And on the excuses go.

Well, sometimes like a baby, we need to be spoon fed. And guess who spelled it out for me. The same delightful almost three year old who does an amazing job of spoon feeding her baby sister. Miss Daisy.
She is at the most delightful age... she will happily approach me if I'm on the laptop, close the lid and request my attention. She will lock my iPhone, even if I try to tell her I'm just putting a photo of her on instagram or facebook so our friends can see her pretty face then I'll be done and playing tea parties again. She will return my iPhone to it's home next to my bed to ensure that said photos are not shared in tea party time again.
She's also a tech head though and is delighted to pose for countless photographs each day! She is completely apt in scheduling herself a sitting with ABC 4 Kids on the iView app and loves to flick through photos too!

Anyway, I've lowered my expectations.
I do not expect Miss Daisy to play on her own - even though she does do this multiple times each day. But I'm not expecting it, then I'm not disappointed on those days it doesn't happen and she wants to be my siamese twin!
I do not expect Li'l Peppa to nap 3 hours morning and afternoon like she did a few months back. Were my motives for her to rest or for me to have some free time?
I do not expect her to go to bed at night without a hitch. I love when she does (and she's getting so much better!) But I am resolved that some evenings she won't. Craft, reading, facebook etc will survive without me another 10 minutes.
I do not expect my hubby to look after the kids when he walks in the door each afternoon. More often than not he does. He loves being home and getting a running, jumping hug from Miss Daisy and an excited greeting from Li'l Peppa. But without the expectation of this, I'm not disappointed if he's tired, busy or late home.

Do you see what I mean? I'm trying to change what I think and feel should happen in my day, in my life. Because I shouldn't expect such things. They are often wonderful blessings on the days when I need them most. But they are not to be expected at all times. This is motherhood. This is the battle field that defines us. These are the days that define our children. The days that define my children.

Anyway, I'm off to hopefully sleep as soundly as this for a few hours!